Parenting as a Team
Written By: Bosky Singh, Moms on Maternity, columnist.
Matt Walsh very rightly said, "Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."
Parenting as we say is not a child's play, raising little people can be challenging indeed and it becomes easier and harder both when it becomes a team effort. In today's world raising kids is just not just a Mom's job but about doing it together. Daddies too have to pitch in and do their part. Both the parents have to take an active interest in bringing up their kids and work as a team for the betterment of the child/children. Children are the testament of our love. If we have agreed to bring kids into this world then why don’t we raise them as a TEAM?
Team effort for me means working together with my husband in raising our son. Teamwork means coming together and working for a similar goal. And as parents, our goal is doing the best for our kids…love them, nurture them and bring out the best in them by bringing out the best in ourselves. Yeah!
More often than not we don’t see eye-to-eye. EYES ROLLING! I am visualizing most of you agreeing with me. Right? And it’s OK cause we are two different people coming from two different backgrounds. We were brought up in different ways. Parenting very often comes from how our parents used to behave in certain situations and we fall back to the same behavior without even realizing it.
It becomes essential from the start that we discuss what we want for our child, what kind of morals and values we want to inculcate in them. What we need to do is get to know each other’s backgrounds and decide on common ground. Sounds simple? But no dearies it’s not. The KEY to this is Communication. That’s what I did with my dear hubby.. we talked, we argued then we talked some more and, finally found some common ground. There are things like nap time, nutrition and even studies when they grow a bit to agree on... for e.g.,- my task is to take care of our son’s languages while mathematics & science is taken care of by my hubby. In the simplest of terms, strive to share the workload mutually as per the best of your abilities.
Mother Teresa once said, ”I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.”
The keyword is together. Together you need to be in sync with each other like a drum and its sticks producing a perfect tune to which your kids respond to. Always remember you are in this together and that there is no I in teamwork. It’s a joint venture between the parents.
I as a mother feel it’s more than just being there but taking interest in the overall development of the kids, communicating with them, loving them, and even disciplining and correcting them when necessary. Both the parents should pay attention not only to the kids but to each other as well because kids are like little monkeys who tend to imitate their parents. Kids who come from such parenting units are more willing to listen to others, they are open to communication and they work well in teams and above all, they feel loved and wanted and show this same empathy towards others.
Radhika Srivastav a mother of a proactive 5-year-old says, ”We have a system in our house. Once back from work if I am cooking or doing the dishes my hubby would spend time with our kid and later, we switch. When it's time to put him to bed we both spend some time with him either reading or just chatting.”
The world is changing and so is the so-called parenting team. There are all kinds of parenting units: Single parents with the support of grandparents, friends, teachers, or even the paid helping hand, they all are a part of the team and in my opinion the bigger this unit, the more loved the kids are going to feel and happier they are going to be.
The most important thing is the kids should know both of you are working together in-sync. You need to portray a united front and if a parent tells the kid it ‘s nap time then the parent means the same. There's no going around it. Kids are super smart that way. The moment they observe a crack in that armor they are going to attack with their arsenal (I know I did!). Most of us have done it at some point in our lives. Like any other skill parenting too is a skill and with time we all get better at it.
There are some things to keep in mind:
- Always be open to communication - the key to any successful relationship.
- Reliability - both partners should know they can rely on each other with their eyes closed.
- Make decisions together - for successful teamwork.
- Try your best to not put your partner down - we all make mistakes learn to get past them.
- Resolve issues and conflict - don’t leave them hanging in the air.
- Learn to prioritize - we all want what is best for our kids but prioritizing is a must.
- Evolve - as your kids grow your parenting style needs to evolve too.
- Appreciate - both your partner and kids.
- Take breaks - at times together and at times alone (give each other breaks)
What is most important is that we love what we are doing. It’s a blessing to raise kids and to raise them together with your partner / the person you love is twice the blessing. Keep in mind, there’s no right or wrong way to parent. You all are doing great, just count your blessings and cherish the days. It is a miracle of life that we get to love and nurture our little ones. Enjoy it all with a smile on your face and the wind in your hair.
WRITTEN BY:
Bosky Singh is Mom to one boy, aged 4 years old.